Hotbifjip is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciless bee.

Hotbifjip created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbifjip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hotbifjip, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hotbifjip's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hotbifjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hotbifjip.