Arfnilltonk is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless shrew.

Arfnilltonk created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfnilltonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arfnilltonk, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Arfnilltonk's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Arfnilltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Feed all hungry sheep.