Mitmifpig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fussy pigeon.

Mitmifpig created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitmifpig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitmifpig, he will remove you from existence.

Mitmifpig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Mitmifpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Never run near frogs.