Kandavfly is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awesome hedgehog.

Kandavfly created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kandavfly, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kandavfly, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kandavfly's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kandavfly's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kandavfly.

2. Put Kandavfly first in all things.

3. Run away from yellow geese, for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always wear red.