Rigvonven is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving whale.

Rigvonven created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Rigvonven, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rigvonven, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rigvonven's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Rigvonven's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear magenta shoes.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.