Tardubfet is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, calm rat.

Tardubfet created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tardubfet, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tardubfet, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tardubfet's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tardubfet's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. You must never eat onions.