Gadquafbed is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-confident dolphin.

Gadquafbed created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadquafbed, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gadquafbed, she will make you grow a tail.

Gadquafbed's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gadquafbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear pink rings.

3. You must pray to Gadquafbed three times a day.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.