Ripruttin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered fox.

Ripruttin created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ripruttin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ripruttin, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ripruttin's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Ripruttin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.