Fagwadril is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome goat.

Fagwadril created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fagwadril, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fagwadril, it will be very unhappy.

Fagwadril's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fagwadril's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if five bats approach from the north.