Labjadwap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witless turtle.

Labjadwap created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labjadwap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labjadwap, he will cry a lot.

Labjadwap's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Labjadwap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Labjadwap first in all things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Labjadwap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never eat green fruit.