Yimsatstaf Watpigkom is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, ruthless crocodile.

Yimsatstaf Watpigkom created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimsatstaf Watpigkom, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yimsatstaf Watpigkom, he will make you grow a tail.

Yimsatstaf Watpigkom's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yimsatstaf Watpigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Yimsatstaf Watpigkom loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.