Pakkikcen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unfair finch.

Pakkikcen created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakkikcen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pakkikcen, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pakkikcen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pakkikcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Put Pakkikcen first in all things.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Run away from fawn seals, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.