Bidlamdan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring turtle.

Bidlamdan created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidlamdan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bidlamdan, she will be very unhappy.

Bidlamdan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bidlamdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.