Latjapflam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody tapir.

Latjapflam created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latjapflam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Latjapflam, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Latjapflam's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Latjapflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Hide from brown moths for they are unholy.

3. Always look after injured foxes.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.