Didsogfod is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, happy squid.

Didsogfod created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Didsogfod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Didsogfod, he will boil you in a big pot.

Didsogfod's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Didsogfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.