Pangbogfunflap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, benevolent spider.

Pangbogfunflap created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangbogfunflap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pangbogfunflap, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pangbogfunflap's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pangbogfunflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Never feed wheat to mice while wearing gray coats.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not kill bats.