Sagwapyam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, vain lion.

Sagwapyam created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagwapyam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sagwapyam, he will manifest in front of you.

Sagwapyam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sagwapyam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must love Sagwapyam.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Never hurt geese.