Carfigmip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, irritating pigeon.

Carfigmip created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carfigmip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Carfigmip, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Carfigmip's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Carfigmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Carfigmip loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.