Gephitvadcim is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest dingo.

Gephitvadcim created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gephitvadcim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gephitvadcim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gephitvadcim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gephitvadcim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed garlic to goats while wearing red kilts.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.