Xuckmiftin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, astonishing duck.

Xuckmiftin created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmiftin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Xuckmiftin, he will curse you with boils.

Xuckmiftin's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Xuckmiftin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Put Xuckmiftin first in all things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.