Stipnarlen is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud swan.

Stipnarlen created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Stipnarlen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stipnarlen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Stipnarlen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Stipnarlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stipnarlen.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.