Pighanlarnpagran is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous clam.

Pighanlarnpagran created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Pighanlarnpagran, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pighanlarnpagran, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Pighanlarnpagran's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pighanlarnpagran's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Pighanlarnpagran on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.