Honyimgep Bifnilarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional squirrel.

Honyimgep Bifnilarn created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honyimgep Bifnilarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Honyimgep Bifnilarn, she will refuse to believe in you.

Honyimgep Bifnilarn's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Honyimgep Bifnilarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear blue.