Kemlisttonk is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent bat.

Kemlisttonk created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlisttonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemlisttonk, he will manifest in front of you.

Kemlisttonk's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Kemlisttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.