Bifmidgam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful bat.

Bifmidgam created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifmidgam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bifmidgam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bifmidgam's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bifmidgam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Never feed onions to gulls while wearing fawn kilts.

3. Bifmidgam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.