Sasstanvil is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy dugong.

Sasstanvil created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sasstanvil, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sasstanvil, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sasstanvil's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Sasstanvil's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sasstanvil.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Never think about stars.