Sakcusstetti is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic rat.

Sakcusstetti created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakcusstetti, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakcusstetti, she will make you grow a tail.

Sakcusstetti's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Sakcusstetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Worship no other gods but Sakcusstetti.

5. Do not drink alcohol.