Stangessjap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, grumpy capybara.

Stangessjap created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Stangessjap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stangessjap, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stangessjap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Stangessjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Stangessjap.

4. Always obey Stangessjap's priests.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.