Jabtamquill is a god.

He takes the form of a large, conceited hummingbird.

Jabtamquill created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabtamquill, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jabtamquill, he will not care.

Jabtamquill's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jabtamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jabtamquill.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabtamquill.