Wapnurlmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, able sheep.

Wapnurlmif created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapnurlmif, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wapnurlmif, he will be mildly annoyed.

Wapnurlmif's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Wapnurlmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Always treat nematodes with great respect.