Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, kind gerbil.

Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut, she will send you a sign.

Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tapwadwigappmatgunkabnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms white.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Always stare at clouds.