Jamsoghat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless wolf.

Jamsoghat created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamsoghat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamsoghat, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jamsoghat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jamsoghat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Never paint your back green.

5. Always help voles in need.