Nurbiffag Hat is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, passionate bat.

Nurbiffag Hat created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurbiffag Hat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurbiffag Hat, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nurbiffag Hat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nurbiffag Hat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest white.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.