Narvedsomcin is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, capable swan.

Narvedsomcin created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narvedsomcin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Narvedsomcin, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Narvedsomcin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Narvedsomcin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Narvedsomcin nine times a day.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Never talk about fire.