Zedzenkop is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic hedgehog.

Zedzenkop created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedzenkop, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedzenkop, it will boil you in a big pot.

Zedzenkop's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zedzenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never mention shrews.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.