Madwikjip Megdamnar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise hare.

Madwikjip Megdamnar created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Madwikjip Megdamnar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Madwikjip Megdamnar, she will turn you into a puffin.

Madwikjip Megdamnar's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Madwikjip Megdamnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Madwikjip Megdamnar loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Never mention cats.

5. You must never eat turnips.