Mettinnakflam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, fast gorilla.

Mettinnakflam created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mettinnakflam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mettinnakflam, it will not care.

Mettinnakflam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Mettinnakflam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never eat bark.