Wigtenjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish finch.

Wigtenjarn created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigtenjarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wigtenjarn, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wigtenjarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Wigtenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about asteroids.