Mapganmat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty seal.

Mapganmat created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapganmat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mapganmat, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Mapganmat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Mapganmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt mites.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mapganmat.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.