Yastrenjip is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, conceited camel.

Yastrenjip created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yastrenjip, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yastrenjip, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yastrenjip's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yastrenjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Erect nine iron sculptures of Yastrenjip on top of important buildings.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never paint your neck mauve.