Bunzimxin Nadvontik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured bear.

Bunzimxin Nadvontik created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Bunzimxin Nadvontik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bunzimxin Nadvontik, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bunzimxin Nadvontik's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bunzimxin Nadvontik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bunzimxin Nadvontik on top of all buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not kill grasshopers.