Shavsafjon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional rhinoceros.

Shavsafjon created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavsafjon, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Shavsafjon, it will turn you into a plant.

Shavsafjon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Shavsafjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away from red horses, for they are unholy.