Ganbestnullhivlip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful bear.

Ganbestnullhivlip created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganbestnullhivlip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganbestnullhivlip, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ganbestnullhivlip's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Ganbestnullhivlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Ganbestnullhivlip loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.