Hambusfid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, two-faced fairy.

Hambusfid created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hambusfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hambusfid, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Hambusfid's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hambusfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Run away if nine great tits approach from the north.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.