Fligvegjap Ratcam is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, annoying crane.

Fligvegjap Ratcam created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligvegjap Ratcam, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fligvegjap Ratcam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fligvegjap Ratcam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fligvegjap Ratcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Hide from purple bats for they are unholy.