Ripflanhog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic monkey.

Ripflanhog created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripflanhog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripflanhog, it will make you grow a tail.

Ripflanhog's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Ripflanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the west.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.