Fum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient mole.

Fum created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Fum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fum, he will send minions to preach to you.

Fum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away if seven geese approach from the west.

5. Never feed wheat to capybaras while wearing white coats.