Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic newt.

Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag, she will turn you into a mouse.

Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed wheat to whales while wearing pink kilts.

5. Do not take Zagrulceddog Bepbimbag's name in vain.