Kipcarcem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, confident goblin.

Kipcarcem created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipcarcem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kipcarcem, it will make you grow a tail.

Kipcarcem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kipcarcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to whales while wearing orange kilts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not jump in public.