Xempidsasnut is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm rhinoceros.

Xempidsasnut created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xempidsasnut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xempidsasnut, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xempidsasnut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Xempidsasnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Put Xempidsasnut first in all things.

3. Never sit near squirrels.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xempidsasnut.